You sit in silence contemplating what has just taken place. Only moments ago you were alive and well, relaxing at home with friends. Then there was a deep, crushing pain in your chest that brought you crashing to the floor. The pain has now gone, but you are no longer in your home. Instead, you find yourself standing on the other side of death waiting to stand before the judgment seat and discover where you will spend eternity. As you reflect upon your life your name is called, and you are led down a long corridor into a majestic sanctuary with a throne located in its center. Sitting on this throne is a huge, breathtaking being who looks up at you and begins to speak.
"My name is Lucifer, and I am the angel of light."
You are immediately filled with fear and trembling as you realize that you are face to face with the enemy of all that is true and good. Then the angel continues: "I have cast God down from his throne and banished Christ to the realm of eternal death. It is I who hold the keys to the kingdom. It is I who am the gatekeeper of paradise, and it is for me alone to decide who shall enter eternal joy and who shall be forsaken."
After saying these words, he sits up and stretches out his vast arms. "In my right hand I hold eternal life and in my left hand eternal death. Those who would bow down and acknowledge me as their god shall pass through the gates of paradise and experience an eternity of bliss, but all those who refuse will be vanquished to the second death with their Christ."
After a long pause he bends toward you and speaks, "Which will you choose?"
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
No Conviction
In a world where following Christ is decreed to be a subversive and illegal activity you have been accused of being a believer, arrested, and dragged before a court.
You have been under clandestine surveillance for some time now, and so the prosecution has been able to build up quite a case against you. They begin the trial by offering the judge dozens of photographs that show you attending church meetings, speaking at religious events, and participating in various prayer and worship services. After this, they present a selection of items that have been confiscated from your home: religious books that you own, worship CDs, and other Christian artifacts. Then they step up the pace by displaying many of the poems, pieces of prose, and journal entries that you had lovingly written concerning your faith. Finally, in closing, the prosecution offers your Bible to the judge. This is a well-worn book with scribbles, notes, drawings, and underlinings throughout, evidence, if it were needed, that you had read and reread this sacred text many times.
Throughout the case you have been sitting silently in fear and trembling. You know deep in your heart that with the large body of evidence that has been amassed by the prosecution you face the possibility of a long imprisonment or even execution. At various times throughout the proceedings you have lost all confidence and have ben on the verge of standing up and denying Christ. But while this thought has plagued your mind throughout the trial, you resist the temptation and remain focused.
Once the Prosecution has finished presenting their case the judge proceeds to ask if you have anything to add, but you remain silent and resolute, terrified that if you open your mouth, even for a moment, you might deny the charges made against you. Like Christ, you remain silent before your accusers. In response you are led outside to wait as the judge ponders your case.
The hours pass slowly as you sit under guard in the foyer waiting to be summoned back. Eventually a young man in uniform appears and leads you into the courtroom so that you may hear the verdict and receive word of your punishment. Once you have been seated in the dock that judge, a harsh and unyielding man, enters the room, stands befor you, looks deep into your eyes and begins to speak.
"Of the charges that have been brought forward I find the accused not guilty."
"Not guilty?" your heart freezes. Then in a split second, the fear and terror that had moments before threatened to strip your resolve are swallowed up by confusion and rage.
Despite the surroundings, you stand defiantly before the judge and demand that he give an account concerning why you are innocent of the charges in light of the evidence.
"What evidence? he replies in shock.
"What about the poems and prose that I wrote?" you reply.
"They simply show that you think of yourself as a poet, nothing more."
"But what about hte services I spoke at, the times I wept in church and the long, sleepless nights of prayer?"
"Evidence that you are a good speaker and actor, nothing more," replied the judge. "It is obvious that you deluded those around you, and perhaps at times you even deluded yourself, but this foolishness is not enough to convict you in a court of law."
"But this is madness!" you shout. "It would seem that no evidence would convince you!"
"Not so," replies that judge as if informing you of a great, long-forgotten secret.
"The court is indifferent toward your Bible reading and church attendance; it has no concern for worship with words and a pen. Continue to develop your theology, and use it to paint pictures of love. We have no interest in such armchair artists who spend their time creating images of a better world. We exist only for those who would lay down that brush, and their life, in a Christlike endeavor to create a better world. So, until you live as Christ and his followers did, until you challenge this system and become a thorn in our side, until you die to yourself and offer your body to the flames, until then, my friend, you are no enemy of ours."
You have been under clandestine surveillance for some time now, and so the prosecution has been able to build up quite a case against you. They begin the trial by offering the judge dozens of photographs that show you attending church meetings, speaking at religious events, and participating in various prayer and worship services. After this, they present a selection of items that have been confiscated from your home: religious books that you own, worship CDs, and other Christian artifacts. Then they step up the pace by displaying many of the poems, pieces of prose, and journal entries that you had lovingly written concerning your faith. Finally, in closing, the prosecution offers your Bible to the judge. This is a well-worn book with scribbles, notes, drawings, and underlinings throughout, evidence, if it were needed, that you had read and reread this sacred text many times.
Throughout the case you have been sitting silently in fear and trembling. You know deep in your heart that with the large body of evidence that has been amassed by the prosecution you face the possibility of a long imprisonment or even execution. At various times throughout the proceedings you have lost all confidence and have ben on the verge of standing up and denying Christ. But while this thought has plagued your mind throughout the trial, you resist the temptation and remain focused.
Once the Prosecution has finished presenting their case the judge proceeds to ask if you have anything to add, but you remain silent and resolute, terrified that if you open your mouth, even for a moment, you might deny the charges made against you. Like Christ, you remain silent before your accusers. In response you are led outside to wait as the judge ponders your case.
The hours pass slowly as you sit under guard in the foyer waiting to be summoned back. Eventually a young man in uniform appears and leads you into the courtroom so that you may hear the verdict and receive word of your punishment. Once you have been seated in the dock that judge, a harsh and unyielding man, enters the room, stands befor you, looks deep into your eyes and begins to speak.
"Of the charges that have been brought forward I find the accused not guilty."
"Not guilty?" your heart freezes. Then in a split second, the fear and terror that had moments before threatened to strip your resolve are swallowed up by confusion and rage.
Despite the surroundings, you stand defiantly before the judge and demand that he give an account concerning why you are innocent of the charges in light of the evidence.
"What evidence? he replies in shock.
"What about the poems and prose that I wrote?" you reply.
"They simply show that you think of yourself as a poet, nothing more."
"But what about hte services I spoke at, the times I wept in church and the long, sleepless nights of prayer?"
"Evidence that you are a good speaker and actor, nothing more," replied the judge. "It is obvious that you deluded those around you, and perhaps at times you even deluded yourself, but this foolishness is not enough to convict you in a court of law."
"But this is madness!" you shout. "It would seem that no evidence would convince you!"
"Not so," replies that judge as if informing you of a great, long-forgotten secret.
"The court is indifferent toward your Bible reading and church attendance; it has no concern for worship with words and a pen. Continue to develop your theology, and use it to paint pictures of love. We have no interest in such armchair artists who spend their time creating images of a better world. We exist only for those who would lay down that brush, and their life, in a Christlike endeavor to create a better world. So, until you live as Christ and his followers did, until you challenge this system and become a thorn in our side, until you die to yourself and offer your body to the flames, until then, my friend, you are no enemy of ours."
Intro to Lent
Today is Ash Wednesday. If you're not from a liturgical background, it's the day after Mardi Gras ends. Within the Judeo-Christian faiths there is a long tradition of marking time with certain rhythms. For example, the Sabbath, work six days, rest one. It's supposed to remind us that we are human beings whose worth comes from being created and loved by God. It is to help us rest, heal from the stress of the week, reconnect with God, and prepare us for the week ahead. It reminds us that our worth does not come from what we produce, that we are human beings, not human doings. So, there are all these rhythms: marking the day by prayers (morning, afternoon, evening), marking the week (sabbath), and marking the year (the feasts found in the first books of the bible, or the liturgical year for many denominations).
The liturgical calendar takes through a full experience of life as well as the ministry of Jesus. Often we are tempted to sit with just the parts of the bible we like most or acknowledge one dimension of the Christian experience. If we are celebratory, we tend to like Christmas and Easter, but neglect experiencing what takes place during Advent or Lent. Lent is introspective, we wrestle with the things that lie within us that we ignore most of the time, the places where we have room to grow. During this time we remember Moses' 40 days on Mount Sinai receiving the Torah (first five books of the Bible) and we remember Jesus' 40 days in the wilderness and his temptation that takes place there. Many give up something for lent. Some will fast not eating anything during this time. Others will fast smaller things such as soft drinks or sweets, televisions or cell phones, anything that seems to have too much power over you. It is an attempt to in some small way identify with Christ, to seek to connect with God in a deeper way, and to work on yourself.
I have recently finished a book by Peter Rollins called the Orthodox Heretic and Other Impossible Tales. It is a collection of 33 parables written by Rollins. Each parable is followed by a commentary. The stories are broken into three sets of eleven. The first set is called Beyond Belief, the second is called G-O-D-I-S-N-O-W-H-E-R-E, and the third is called Transfigurations. I have thoroughly enjoyed the book and would highly recommend it. My intent is to post one parable a week during lent, I may at times post commentary either by Rollins or my own reflections. Most of the time I will probably let the story speak for itself that they might read you as much as you read them. May they push and stretch, challenge, provoke, and inspire you as much as they have me.
The liturgical calendar takes through a full experience of life as well as the ministry of Jesus. Often we are tempted to sit with just the parts of the bible we like most or acknowledge one dimension of the Christian experience. If we are celebratory, we tend to like Christmas and Easter, but neglect experiencing what takes place during Advent or Lent. Lent is introspective, we wrestle with the things that lie within us that we ignore most of the time, the places where we have room to grow. During this time we remember Moses' 40 days on Mount Sinai receiving the Torah (first five books of the Bible) and we remember Jesus' 40 days in the wilderness and his temptation that takes place there. Many give up something for lent. Some will fast not eating anything during this time. Others will fast smaller things such as soft drinks or sweets, televisions or cell phones, anything that seems to have too much power over you. It is an attempt to in some small way identify with Christ, to seek to connect with God in a deeper way, and to work on yourself.
I have recently finished a book by Peter Rollins called the Orthodox Heretic and Other Impossible Tales. It is a collection of 33 parables written by Rollins. Each parable is followed by a commentary. The stories are broken into three sets of eleven. The first set is called Beyond Belief, the second is called G-O-D-I-S-N-O-W-H-E-R-E, and the third is called Transfigurations. I have thoroughly enjoyed the book and would highly recommend it. My intent is to post one parable a week during lent, I may at times post commentary either by Rollins or my own reflections. Most of the time I will probably let the story speak for itself that they might read you as much as you read them. May they push and stretch, challenge, provoke, and inspire you as much as they have me.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
My Decision
Here is the letter I sent to the Board of Ordained Ministry:
I embarked upon the candidacy process believing that I was to live out that call as an ordained elder. As I have gone through the process of candidacy, seminary, then probationary/residency I have learned and grown in ways I would have never imagined. I now understand faith and life as well as myself differently than I did when I began. My theology has moved from one of “conversion evangelism” to one of “restorative loving acts,” of trying to live in such a way that we live out the portions of the Lord’s Prayer where we ask that God’s Kingdom come and will be done on Earth as in Heaven. With my theological shift a shift has also come in my understanding of my calling. As I approached elder ordination I began to wonder if I were on the wrong track, if I should actually move to the Deacon process. But, I wasn’t sure if that was indeed what I was to be doing. Therefore, I asked for a leave of absence. I needed some time to work through some issues of grief over my father’s death, something that had been difficult for me to do while pastoring churches, and I needed some time to discern my particular call to ministry. I have found that both of these processes are slow journeys that take place over a lifetime. At the same time both journeys have markers, moments wherein there has sufficient movement to move forward with confidence.
Over the past year I have been working through the process previously outlined. I have been meeting with Sheri Fergueson, working with my leave discernment peer group, and engaging in prayerful discernment personally. At this point there is a general consensus that I have made great headway in both processes. I have been called to ministry. But, my calling appears to exist outside the bounds of the Deacon or Elder categories. It appears to be a pastoral position that also has rhythms of missional service intertwined. It appears to be some sort of mixture of the two. Therefore question becomes, what kind of ministry does my calling fit, and in what kind of setting can that calling be lived out? Since my calling does not appear to lend itself exclusively toward the ordination of a Deacon or an Elder, at this time I will be withdrawing from the process. My hope is that this will enable me to continue to find further clarity in pursuing my calling, finding the right settings in which I can live it out. Once I have found sufficient clarity, should there be settings in which my call can faithfully be lived out, and if you would permit, I would hope to return to the ordination process with the clarity and confidence necessary to faithfully live out such a divine privilege.
Thank you for the growth I have experienced in this process and your continued patience with me as I attempt to understand the invitation God has upon my life.
Grace and Peace,
Jonathan Herston
I embarked upon the candidacy process believing that I was to live out that call as an ordained elder. As I have gone through the process of candidacy, seminary, then probationary/residency I have learned and grown in ways I would have never imagined. I now understand faith and life as well as myself differently than I did when I began. My theology has moved from one of “conversion evangelism” to one of “restorative loving acts,” of trying to live in such a way that we live out the portions of the Lord’s Prayer where we ask that God’s Kingdom come and will be done on Earth as in Heaven. With my theological shift a shift has also come in my understanding of my calling. As I approached elder ordination I began to wonder if I were on the wrong track, if I should actually move to the Deacon process. But, I wasn’t sure if that was indeed what I was to be doing. Therefore, I asked for a leave of absence. I needed some time to work through some issues of grief over my father’s death, something that had been difficult for me to do while pastoring churches, and I needed some time to discern my particular call to ministry. I have found that both of these processes are slow journeys that take place over a lifetime. At the same time both journeys have markers, moments wherein there has sufficient movement to move forward with confidence.
Over the past year I have been working through the process previously outlined. I have been meeting with Sheri Fergueson, working with my leave discernment peer group, and engaging in prayerful discernment personally. At this point there is a general consensus that I have made great headway in both processes. I have been called to ministry. But, my calling appears to exist outside the bounds of the Deacon or Elder categories. It appears to be a pastoral position that also has rhythms of missional service intertwined. It appears to be some sort of mixture of the two. Therefore question becomes, what kind of ministry does my calling fit, and in what kind of setting can that calling be lived out? Since my calling does not appear to lend itself exclusively toward the ordination of a Deacon or an Elder, at this time I will be withdrawing from the process. My hope is that this will enable me to continue to find further clarity in pursuing my calling, finding the right settings in which I can live it out. Once I have found sufficient clarity, should there be settings in which my call can faithfully be lived out, and if you would permit, I would hope to return to the ordination process with the clarity and confidence necessary to faithfully live out such a divine privilege.
Thank you for the growth I have experienced in this process and your continued patience with me as I attempt to understand the invitation God has upon my life.
Grace and Peace,
Jonathan Herston
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